Tulungagung (12/11) – Salah satu sebab rumah tangga hancur adalah tidak mempelajari fiqih nikah sebelumnya, termasuk fiqih hubungan menantu dengan ibu mertua. Demikian disampaikan Ketua Departemen Pendidikan dan Pendidikan PD Salimah Kab. Tulungagung, Siswati, saat menjadi narasumber pertemuan kesembilan Sekolah Pranikah Salimah (Serasi) yang diadakan oleh Salimah Tulungagung pada Ahad (12/11/2023) pagi di Masjid Ni’matur Rubiyah, Kepatihan Tulungagung.
Potensi kurang harmonisnya hubungan suami istri karena mertua, menurut Siswati, ada beberapa sebab. Seperti sang ibu kuatir kehilangan perhatian anaknya, menantu kuatir intervensi dan ikut campur ibu mertua, adanya persaingan antara menantu dan ibu mertua, serta terkadang muncul rasa segan dan canggung ketika berjumpa.
“Sebab lainnya karena ibu mertua terkadang membandingkan satu menantu dengan menantu lainnya. Ibu mertua merasa lebih berpengalaman dan lebih mengetahui berbagai urusan rumah tangga. Selain itu, adanya perbedaan prinsip dan pola asuh anak antara ibu mertua dan menantu, adanya perbedaan generasi dan gaya hidup yang jauh berbeda, serta perebutan dominasi dan kekuasaan di rumah,” terang Siswati.
Agar hubungan mertua dan menantu ini harmonis, Siswati memberikan saran agar menantu memperlakukan mertua sebagaimana orangtua sendiri dan sebaliknya. Menantu juga perlu sesekali meminta pendapat ibu mertua atau curhat, serta sering melakukan kegiatan bersama yang menyenangkan dengan ibu mertua.
“Menantu perlu memberikan pujian yang ikhlas, membuat kesepakatan batasan yang jelas dengan perantara suami, saling memberi hadiah antara istri dan ibu mertua secara berkala. Selain itu, istri harus mendukung suami untuk berbakti dengan ibunya, serta berkunjung ke rumah mertua secara berkala.”
Terakhir, Siswati berpesan bahwa pernikahan bukan hanya menyatukan dua insan saja, tetapi menyatukan dua keluarga sehingga suami diharapkan bisa menjadikan rumah tangga yang sakinah dan anak shalih dan shalihah. (dhyta, fat)
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